Life as of late hasn't been exactly what I had expected. When we got home from Bear Lake we found out I was pregnant. Which was quite the surprise to say the least. Being my youngest is just over 1 I found myself a little worried to have 3 children under the age of 4, but as I thought about it I became more and more excited, and secretly hoped it was a boy for my husband. He is the youngest of 4 girls, the father to 2 girls, our dog is even a girl, I think it is time he has a son!
What is it about carrying a baby that creates that instant love between mother and child. I changed my lifestyle in hopes to create the best environment for my growing child, which included giving up Dr. Pepper (that is not an easy thing for me). We started trying to decide where the baby would sleep, talked about the financial numbers, so on and so forth. I became more and more excited to have this sweet baby in our home. Another room to decorate right??
Sunday night, I started to bleed and cramp, I knew I was going to miscarry. I had never miscarried before this so I didn't really know what I was in for. Monday morning came and emotions started going crazy. I cried and cried and cried.
By the afternoon I decided I should probably let my family and close friends who knew I was pregnant that I was miscarrying. Since I couldn't talk about it without bawling I send out a mass text. Not even minutes after I sent out the text, my dad, brother, sister, mom, grammy, friends, sister in law all started calling me. My neighbor ran right over with Mrs Cavanaugh's chocolate with a sweet note that said "Chocolate always helps me" She didn't have to say anything else, I knew she care. My mom called me during all of her breaks throughout the day to see how I was doing. My sister in law kept calling me to see if she could come and get the girls to let me rest. My other neighbor brought me cookies and cupcakes she made herself and came the next day too with these beautiful flowers. Another neighbor came over on her lunch break to check on me as well. Last night my friend took me out to dinner for a little break and some girl time. And I can't forget my husband, who ran his fingers through my hair as I cried, who cooked dinner, and cleaned the house, who told me everything was going to be okay.
As I sit here and write this tears run down my face. Yes, I am sad I miscarried but how can I not feel blessed and grateful for all of the wonderful support and care I have been shown and given. I couldn't ask for a better family or friends. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven who is always watching out for me and sending help when I need it most. I want to say thank you to all of you! Your kindness hasn't gone unnoticed.
Sometimes I watch the news at night and wonder what kind of a world we live in. Experiences like this remind me what the news is forgetting, the small acts of kindness, the generosity, and the compassion on the little things. Sometimes it is the little things that mean the most!